Full Of Ones Self

I find it hilarious that Iran demoniacs the country that built many of the structures that make it run. It has now taken over thirty years for them to figure out that religious symbols have been there all along.

There they are tossing insults and threats while they are being laughed at for there insanity. They have become a laughing stock when they want to be taken seriously. The Jewish story about the plank and the splinter come to mind here.

It wouldn't be so funny if the government would just admit that it was built by a Jewish company many years ago. Instead they panic and get there undies in a bundle over a symbolic marking.

Grow UP.

CO2 Produces -- What?

For years we have been told that all our excessive CO2 emissions were creating Global Warming. We have had regulation after regulation, law after law, all around the world attempting to curb the production of CO2 in order to stop global warming. But Wait.....

White House science czar John Holdren has predicted 1 billion people will die in "carbon-dioxide induced famines" in a coming new ice age by 2020.

Did you get that? CO2 isn't the cause of global warming. It causes global cooling. Ironically, the science does show that CO2 causes cooling. Scientists who have been fighting the Global Warming loons for years have been trying to point this out. All of a sudden, we are right they are wrong, on this one issue only of course, and the world is in extreme jeopardy again. Now everyone is screaming again and running the other way.

If they are wrong, why are we still listening? They run from crisis to crisis with no reality check. They have no basis to build their catastrophic scenarios on but the emotional hype draws everyone in. I predicted this in February when I wrote, Global Cooling is Back. Now here they come and once again their is big money to be had even in a make believe crisis.

Let me set the population question to rest. If we have about 7 billion people on the planet, and science has already proved that it only takes one acre of land with proper gardening to sustain a family of four, then we only need about 1.75 billion acres of farm land to feed all the people on the planet. This acre of land could be managed and maintained by the family of four. According to the CIA Fact Book, there are 3.98 billion acres of arable land in the world. This includes all land that has been used for farm/agricultural purposes for five or more years. Now if we throw in cooperate farming practices and yield increases due to mechanization we can come to a very quick conclusion that we have plenty of food. It has been estimated that the available arable land could produce enough food to feed 33 billion people. The problem is delivery.

Due to poor government management, corruption and political contrivances, millions of tons of food go to waste every year. Most of us can recall stories of food rotting on the docks of nations with death by starvation rampant. The wrong country or person gave them the food and they are either too foolish or cruel to feed their people.

The reality is that we are being duped again by hyped up extremists. We need to gather the facts, look at the validity of what is being suggested and draw real conclusions. We don't need Hollywood over embellished movies to stretch the truth.

Let's take a simple look at the weather. If you were to get out a calendar and mark down every time the weather man was right, one day, one week or two weeks in advance, I think you would come to the conclusion that they can't predict successfully out more then three days. Yet we have all these groups who are giving us doom and gloom tales of weather 10-20 years into the future. If we can't believe a 15 day forecast what makes you believe even a one year one? Tell the nuts to sit down and shut up.

Article that got me started.

Links of Interest:
Overpopulation: Is There Such A Thing?
A Profile of the World
The CIA World Fact Book - Farmed land per country

Oops!

This brand spanking new Airbus 340-600, the largest passenger airplane ever built, sits just outside its hangar in Toulouse, France without a single hour of airtime.

Enter the Arab flight crew of Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technologies ( ADAT) to conduct pre-delivery tests on the ground, such as engine run-ups prior to delivery to Etihad Airways in Abu Dhabi . The ADAT crew taxied the A340-600 to the run-up area.Then they took all Four engines to takeoff power with a virtually empty aircraft. Not having Read the run-up manuals, they had no clue just how light an empty A340-600 Really is. The takeoff warning horn was blaring away in the cockpit because they had All 4 engines at full power. The aircraft computers thought they were trying to take off, configured properly (flaps/slats, etc..) Then one of the ADAT crew decided to pull the circuit breaker on the Ground Proximity Sensor to silence the alarm. The computers automatically released all the Brakes and set the aircraft rocketing forward. The ADAT crew had no idea that this is a safety feature so that pilots can't land with the brakes on.

Not one member of the seven-man Arab crew was smart enoughto throttle back the engines from their max power setting, so the$200 million brand-new Aircraft crashed into a blast barrier, totaling it!
The extent of injuries to the crew is unknown due to the
news blackout in the major media in France and elsewhere.Coverage of the story was deemed insulting to Muslim Arabs.
Finally, the photos are starting to leak out.

A French Airbus. $200 million dollars

Under trained Arab Flight Crew $300,000 Yearly SalaryUnread Operating Manual $300

AIRCRAFT MEETS RETAINING WALL

-- WALL WINS

PRICELESS!

Fact or Fiction we don't know. The information of what really happened and how has yet to be fully released. The above story may or may not be true.

It sure makes a great read though.

Snopes

You Got To Give Her Credit

I am not a big Ann Coulter fan. We don't need another anger driven political activist further dividing America. With that said, some times she can clearly say what needs saying.

Liberal lies about national health care, Part 1
Posted: August 19, 2009



1) National health care will punish the insurance companies.

You want to punish insurance companies? Make them compete.

As Adam Smith observed, whenever two businessmen meet, "the conversation ends in a conspiracy against the public, or in some contrivance to raise prices." That's why we need a third, fourth and 45th competing insurance company that will undercut them by offering better service at a lower price.

Tiny little France and Germany have more competition among health insurers than the U.S. does right now. Amazingly, both of these socialist countries have less state regulation of health insurance than we do, and you can buy health insurance across regional lines – unlike in the U.S., where a federal law allows states to ban interstate commerce in health insurance.

U.S. health insurance companies are often imperious, unresponsive consumer hellholes because they're a partial monopoly, protected from competition by government regulation. In some states, one big insurer will control 80 percent of the market. (Guess which party these big insurance companies favor? Big companies love big government.)

Liberals think they can improve the problem of a partial monopoly by turning it into a total monopoly. That's what single-payer health care is: "Single payer" means "single provider."

Don't miss the most recent edition of Whistleblower magazine: "Medical Murder: Why Obamacare could result in the early deaths of millions of baby boomers"

It's the famous liberal two-step: First screw something up, then claim that it's screwed up because there's not enough government oversight (it's the free market run wild!), and then step in and really screw it up in the name of "reform."

You could fix 90 percent of the problems with health insurance by ending the federal law allowing states to ban health insurance sales across state lines. But when John McCain called for ending the ban during the 2008 presidential campaign, he was attacked by Joe Biden – another illustration of the ironclad Ann Coulter rule that the worst Republicans are still better than allegedly "conservative" Democrats.

2) National health care will "increase competition and keep insurance companies honest" – as President Barack Obama has said.

Government-provided health care isn't a competitor; it's a monopoly product paid for by the taxpayer. Consumers may be able to "choose" whether they take the service – at least at first – but every single one of us will be forced to buy it, under penalty of prison for tax evasion. It's like a new cable plan with a "yes" box, but no "no" box.

Obama himself compared national health care to the post office – immediately conjuring images of a highly efficient and consumer-friendly work force – which, like so many consumer-friendly shops, is closed by 2 p.m. on Saturdays, all Sundays and every conceivable holiday.

But what most people don't know – including the president, apparently – with certain narrow exceptions, competing with the post office is prohibited by law.

Expect the same with national health care. Liberals won't stop until they have total control. How else will they get you to pay for their sex-change operations?

3) Insurance companies are denying legitimate claims because they are "villains."

Obama denounced the insurance companies in last Sunday's New York Times, saying: "A man lost his health coverage in the middle of chemotherapy because the insurance company discovered that he had gallstones, which he hadn't known about when he applied for his policy. Because his treatment was delayed, he died."

Well, yeah. That and the cancer.

Assuming this is true – which would distinguish it from every other story told by Democrats pushing national health care – in a free market, such an insurance company couldn't stay in business. Other insurance companies would scream from the rooftops about their competitor's shoddy business practices, and customers would leave in droves.

If only customers had a choice! But we don't because of government regulation of health insurance.

Speaking of which, maybe if Mr. Gallstone's insurance company weren't required by law to cover early childhood development programs and sex-change operations, it wouldn't be forced to cut corners in the few areas not regulated by the government, such as cancer treatments for patients with gallstones.

4) National health care will give Americans "basic consumer protections that will finally hold insurance companies accountable" – as Barack Obama claimed in his op/ed in the Times.

You want to protect consumers? Do it the same way we protect consumers of dry cleaning, hamburgers and electricians: Give them the power to tell their insurance companies, "I'm taking my business elsewhere."

5) Government intervention is the only way to provide coverage for pre-existing conditions.

The only reason most "pre-existing" conditions aren't already covered is because of government regulations that shrink the insurance market to a microscopic size, which leads to fewer options in health insurance and a lot more uninsured people than would exist in a free market.

The free market has produced a dizzying array of insurance products in areas other than health. (Ironically, array-associated dizziness is not covered by most health plans.) Even insurance companies have "reinsurance" policies to cover catastrophic events occurring on the properties they insure, such as nuclear accidents, earthquakes and Michael Moore dropping in for a visit and breaking the couch.

If we had a free market in health insurance, it would be inexpensive and easy to buy insurance for "pre-existing" conditions before they exist, for example, insurance on unborn – unconceived – children and health insurance even when you don't have a job. The vast majority of "pre-existing" conditions that currently exist in a cramped, limited, heavily regulated insurance market would be "covered" conditions under a free market in health insurance.

I've hit my word limit on liberal lies about national health care without breaking a sweat. See this space next week for more lies in our continuing series.

Liberal lies about national health care, Part 2
Posted: August 26, 2009


With the Democrats getting slaughtered – or should I say, "receiving mandatory end-of-life counseling" – in the debate over national health care, the Obama administration has decided to change the subject by indicting CIA interrogators for talking tough to three of the world's leading Muslim terrorists.

Had I been asked, I would have advised them against reinforcing the idea that Democrats are hysterical bed-wetters who can't be trusted with national defense while also reminding people of the one thing everyone still admires about President George W. Bush.

But I guess the Democrats really want to change the subject. Thus, here is Part 2 in our series of liberal lies about national health care.

6) There will be no rationing under national health care.

Anyone who says that is a liar. And all Democrats are saying it. (Hey, look – I have two-thirds of a syllogism!)

Don't miss the most recent edition of Whistleblower magazine: "Medical Murder: Why Obamacare could result in the early deaths of millions of baby boomers"

Apparently, promising to cut costs by having a panel of Washington bureaucrats (for short, "The Death Panel") deny medical treatment wasn't a popular idea with most Americans. So liberals started claiming that they are going to cover an additional 47 million uninsured Americans and cut costs ... without ever denying a single medical treatment!

Also on the agenda is a delicious all-you-can-eat chocolate cake that will actually help you lose weight! But first, let's go over the specs for my perpetual motion machine – and it uses no energy, so it's totally green!

For you newcomers to planet Earth, everything that does not exist in infinite supply is rationed. In a free society, people are allowed to make their own rationing choices.

Some people get new computers every year; some every five years. Some White House employees get new computers and then vandalize them on the way out the door when their candidate loses. (These are the same people who will be making decisions about your health care.)

Similarly, one person might say, "I want to live it up and spend freely now! No one lives forever." (That person is a Democrat.) And another might say, "I don't go to restaurants, I don't go to the theater, and I don't buy expensive designer clothes because I've decided to pour all my money into my health."

Under national health care, you'll have no choice about how to ration your own health care. If your neighbor isn't entitled to a hip replacement, then neither are you. At least that's how the plan was explained to me by our next surgeon general, Dr. Conrad Murray.

7) National health care will reduce costs.

This claim comes from the same government that gave us the $500 hammer, the $1,200 toilet seat and postage stamps that increase in price every three weeks.

The last time liberals decided an industry was so important that the government needed to step in and contain costs was when they set their sights on the oil industry. Liberals in both the U.S. and Canada – presidents Richard Nixon and Jimmy Carter and Canadian P.M. Pierre Trudeau – imposed price controls on oil.

As night leads to day, price controls led to reduced oil production, which led to oil shortages, skyrocketing prices for gasoline, rationing schemes and long angry lines at gas stations.

You may recall this era as "the Carter years."

Then, the white knight Ronald Reagan became president and immediately deregulated oil prices. The magic of the free market – aka the "profit motive" – produced surges in oil exploration and development, causing prices to plummet. Prices collapsed and remained low for the next 20 years, helping to fuel the greatest economic expansion in our nation's history.

You may recall this era as "the Reagan years."

Freedom not only allows you to make your own rationing choices, but also produces vastly more products and services at cheap prices, so less rationing is necessary.


8) National health care won't cover abortions.

There are three certainties in life: a) death, b) taxes, and c) no health-care bill supported by Nita Lowey and Rosa DeLauro and signed by Barack Obama could possibly fail to cover abortions.

I don't think that requires elaboration, but here it is:

Despite being a thousand pages long, the health-care bills passing through Congress are strikingly nonspecific. (Also, in a thousand pages, Democrats weren't able to squeeze in one paragraph on tort reform. Perhaps they were trying to save paper.)

These are Trojan Horse bills. Of course, they don't include the words "abortion," "death panels" or "three-year waits for hip-replacement surgery."

That proves nothing – the bills set up unaccountable, unelected federal commissions to fill in the horrible details. Notably, the Democrats rejected an amendment to the bill that would specifically deny coverage for abortions.

After the bill is passed, the Federal Health Commission will find that abortion is covered, pro-lifers will sue, and a court will say it's within the regulatory authority of the health commission to require coverage for abortions.

Then we'll watch a parade of senators and congressmen indignantly announcing, "Well, I'm pro-life, and if I had had any idea this bill would cover abortions, I never would have voted for it!"

No wonder Democrats want to remind us that they can't be trusted with foreign policy. They want us to forget that they can't be trusted with domestic policy.


She contantly took swipes at Democrats but in this case they are well deserved because she is accurate on every point. In this case I am going to side with Ann and say they deserve a little mocking for this travisty.

Article Links:
Liberal lies about national health care, Part 1
Liberal lies about national health care, Part 2

How Many Trillion Will That Cost?

Seems everyday someone is discussing a trillion dollars for this or that. We have heard "a trillion dollars" so often that we don't even blink any more. It wasn't that long ago when someone would say a billion and you would be taken back. I don't even see people flinch when someone points out that Obama's budget is $3.8 trillion. Other stories point to our debt rising to $10 trillion or 72.2% of our nations GDP. (United States — GDP: 13.84 Trillion)

It is time for a reality check.

The average home in America is worth $210,000. A trillion dollars would buy 4,761,904.76 homes. If these homes had families of 4, that would house 19,047,619, or 6.27% of our population. (Population of US: 303,824,640)

The average household income in the US is $50,740 according to 2007 information. A trillion dollars would have kept 19,708,316.91 from having to go to work this year. Since this is based on household income then we multiply by 1.65 and get 32,518,722.90 people who didn't have to work or 10.7% or our population. Wouldn't that make a serious dent in unemployment statistics?

The average new auto in America costs $28,400. A trillion dollars would buy 35,211,267.61 new cars. That is 14.04% of all the cars in the US. (estimated 250,851,833 registered passenger vehicles in the United States according to a 2006 DOT study)

A dollar bill is a unique piece of paper well recognized around the world. It currently measures 2.61 inches wide by 6.14 inches long, and the thickness is .0043 inches. If we were to lay a trillion of them end to end we would get a line 96,906,565.66 miles long. That would be 202.85 round trips to the moon. (avg distance from earth to moon is 238,857 miles)

If we laid them side by side, a trillion of them would make a line 41,193,181.82 miles long or 86.23 round trips to the moon.

If we simply stacked them neatly in a pile, a trillion of them would make a pile 67,866.16 miles high or 28.4% of the average distance to the moon.

If we were to cover an area laying them end to end side to side we would cover 41,059.44 square miles that is an area bigger then Kentucky and smaller then Tennessee.

I hope that this gives you some perspective of the size of a trillion dollars. The vast value of what we are talking about and returns the shock and deep breaths when you hear it. Don't let some politician try to treat this as a minor thing in American politics. We are talking real money and in this case really big debt.

So the next time you hear someone talking about the budget and tax dollars you can pull them aside and let them know what a trillion dollars looks like.

Vehicle study by year in US
Size of the States in the US in Square Miles

The Road To Hell

I loved this quote from Czech Prime Minister Mirek Topolanek to the European Parliament on Wednesday. He has clearly stated what most of us are thinking here in America.

Obama's Stimulus plans and Spending Proposals are Killing Us as a Nation.

The heads of Europe are perhaps doing what "We the People" can't. Our socialist leaders want to be more like Europe and are going with full gusto to get there. Now they have been slapped down by the very ideals they worship.

EU president calls Obama's plans to spend his way out of recession 'the road to hell'

But Topolanek took aim at Washington's deficit spending.

"All of these steps, these combinations and permanency is the road to hell," Topolanek said. "We need to read the history books and the lessons of history and the biggest success of the (EU) is the refusal to go this way."

"Americans will need liquidity to finance all their measures and they will balance this with the sale of their bonds but this will undermine the liquidity of the global financial market," Topolanek said.


I know some of you are going to point out that Topolanek is pretty much out as a leader and there are several EU nations trying to back peddle from this remark but the big three; France, Britain and Germany, haven't mentioned the remarks. Does that mean they are in agreement? Germany has clearly spoken on stimulus spending and the word is "NO".

The world runs on the US Dollar and deficit spending reduces the value of the dollar and destabilizes most of the world markets. I wish to applaud Topolanek for having the guts to stand up and say what needed said.

Hug Your Toilet Today

Don't Laugh: World Toilet Day Aims to Promote Sanitation, Rid World of Disease
Wednesday, November 19, 2008

A non-profit organization in Singapore has declared Wednesday World Toilet Day, Agence France-Presse reported.
But this is not a laughing matter, according to The World Toilet Organization, which was founded in 2001 and aims to make the world aware of sanitation issues.
“Each year, lack of toilets cause 200 million tons of humans waste to go uncollected and untreated around the world, fouling the environment and exposing millions of people to diseases,” said a statement on the organization’s Web site.
World Toilet Day is a reminder that better sanitation is needed around the world.
According to the Web site, 2.5 billion people across the globe lack access to appropriate toilet facilities.
The WTO consists of 151 toilet and sanitation organizations in 53 countries.

What Are They Going to Do Now

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

Coming to a place near you.

What Are They Doing with All That Oil Money?

Have you heard of Hydropolis? You have got to see this to believe it.

It is set to be completed in 2009. It was originally staged for 2006 but since this hasn't been done before it has had a few set backs.

Here are some other articles:

Hydropolis-underwater hotel

Hydropolis Undersea Resort

Chernobyl at Sea

Russia is starting to build floating nuclear reactors. It sounds like a great idea. Quickly deliver power to new or damaged areas. Dropping anchor off the shore of Burma and getting water purification and emergency power could have saved lives. Is it worth the risk?

I don't see any measure of security being brought to bare. This is a major accident waiting to happen. We have major terrorist organizations looking for this very item. Currently all the nuclear reactors at sea are in battle ships. I may be wrong but it would be a little easier to take this ship then one of those.

Article can be found here

Global Cooling is Back

I can remember in the 70's when people were clamoring about Global Cooling and the next Ice Age. It was quickly out done by the much better funded population crisis crowd. The planet was going to swell to 6 billion people and life as we know it would end.
Remember "The Late Great Planet Earth" and all the hoopla. How about the move "The Day After" about the inevitable nuclear war between Russia and the US. I don't think there ever was a time in history when some group attempted panic and hysteria over nothing. Y2K still strikes fear in my heart when I hear it.
It seems now is the time for the Global Warming nuts to fall from their dizzying heights. They had just hit their peak when mother nature decided to dump their apple cart. The Ice is back and the polar bears have been saved. Mother nature may have gotten a little carried away making her point though. Record snow falls in normally desert regions have not deterred Al Gore and his ensemble of die hard warmers.
I can't wait to see the next crisis dejour and how much world money they will control through fear and manipulation. The world is ripe for another sob story because the current fairy tale has just been stamped with a Jack frost The End.

Article of Interest

It's Starting to Unravel

I have been beating back the throng of Global Warming for years. It sure was a relief to see the dragon turn and bite at itself. Now that the NYT has published a column about the falsehood of global warming, others who coward under their desk will finally crawl out and make statements.
The science isn't there and the data isn't there. It is high time we shove this aside and stop wasting time and money on this fools errand. Tell Al Gore to sit down and shut up. His mountain of lies and fear mongering can now come to a stop.
The world is starting to realize the great hoax played on them. The money wasted while other real causes went unfulfilled. Al Gore may one day be the Benedict Arnold of the world.

Article of interest.

The Wrong Tool

I really love a good gadget but I think you can go to far. This is one tool that has crossed the line. It has 87 different tools. They took every tool ever put on a Swiss Army Knife and placed it here.

It may be a world record but I would call it gross over kill.

Brief Article Found Here.

The Food Looks Like Sh--

What is wrong with people? A couple of years ago there was a café that served nothing. Now we have a restaurant that has a potty theme.

If the ambiance looks appealing wait till you see the food. It is designed to look like human feces.

Go ahead read it yourself.

Don't End The Debate

We need to watch this!

One of the few remaining clear headed thinking news pieces about Globel Warming.

More evidence.
Doomsday called off 1
Doomsday Called Off 2
Doomsday Called Off 3
Doomsday Called Off 4
Doomsday Called Off 5

The Enviro Nuts are Out

I have been enjoying a great day of football and family. Here I am enjoying the evening game and the NBC Enviro Wacko's had to show themselves. According to the reporters they are broadcasting from Greenland, Ecuador and Antarctica. They believe we can change our ways and stop global warming. They will have specials all week and even interview former VP Al Gore. The Philadelphia Eagles are promoting green.

The liberal mindset is taking over my football. Not a single one of these people have a clue. Are they aware that Mars has increased in temperature by the same amount as the Earth? Perhaps they can explain why Ice in Antarctica is getting thicker even though Ice in Arctic regions is thinning? Perhaps they can tell me why past Ice Ages occurred and what turned them around before the use of Fossil Fuels. None of these known facts fit their deranged way of thinking.

The scientific community is quickly distancing themselves from the Global Warming crowd. Soon only the most zealous of the GW crowd will be left riding their bikes and looking for an institution that will take them.

Draw!?

I feel scared just looking at it. An eighth grader was suspended for a week for drawing this. Our school system under the rules of zero tolerance took this as a serious threat.

This was a small sketch in the margins of some math work that was done in class. Could you imagine what form of punishment he would have gotten if he had drawn a Mohammad Cartoon.

I think the writer Neil Boortz on Boortz.com has said it best.

Wake up folks. These are our 21st century American government schools. They aren't worth a crap (pardon the expression). They exist for one purpose, to provide jobs for government union school teachers and government administrative hacks. Deep in your hearts each and every one of you know that the private sector could be doing a better job, and you're also deeply embarrassed, even if you won't admit it, that you have turned your children over to this hideous system to be, or so you think, "educated."
There is no one entity that is more responsible for the decline of our great country than our system of government education.

Our education system needs help.

Judge with No Reasonable Judgment

The judge who sued over his lost pants for millions of dollars should have every case he ever sat over be submitted for review. It should be appartent to the world that this guy should have never been a judge. He has no ability to reason or inturpret common words and phrases. If I was in this guys municipality I might want to bring suit against him for all wages ever paid. Maybe for defamation.

I want to appluad the judge for awarding the dry cleaners all there legal fees. At least some justice prevailed in this case.

Source

Lost and Found

My bag didn't show up the next morning, Surprise. I figured the courier didn't want to do the night ride and being the wise person, I purchased an outfit at Wally's. I also picked up the basic survival supplies, so I was ready for my day. When I returned back to my hotel, the bag still had not arrived.

I called the baggage people and asked what was going on. I knew there was a problem when they didn't need my claim ID number. I simply gave them my name and the buck passing started. How two people who started in different airports and ended in different airports got each others luggage was a puzzle that demanded unraveling. Here is the story.........

When I checked in at the airport and got my boarding passes and bag tags, a lady in Las Vegas was doing the same. The print command for the bag tags hit the network at the exact same moment and some how got swapped when routed back to the airport printers. Since it was the lovely bar code that only computers can read nobody knew the difference. My bag, unknown to me or the airline, was now listed as someone else's at a completely different airport and a different destination. She arrived at her destination first passing through Phoenix. I arrived at my destination two hours later passing through Phoenix. Phoenix was where the mix up got mixed up. The baggage handlers bar code reader said it need to go to San Antonio, so off it went. As the lady in the story waited for her little blue and black bag, unknown to her the big brown and black bag was now assigned to her. As she filled out a missing bag report a baggage attendant brought in a bag with her name assigned to it, MINE. Reading the ID card on the bag confirmed that this was not her bag. Hence the call to me.

The Rest Of The Story: The lady that answered the phone said, "Didn't someone call you and inform you that your bag was in San Antonio?"
"Yes," I told her, "that was yesterday. Why isn't my bag here, today?"
"She was supposed to call you today and tell you," she said.
"Listen," I said. "That bag was to be flown here last night and delivered to my hotel early this morning. Why is it still in Texas?"
"Well Sir..........." There was a long pause. "It was here last night but the tag said it belonged in San Antonio so we sent it back. The people there put a rush lost bag tag on it but the old tag was still there. The new tag came off somehow and since the old tag was still there........."
"That's just great," I said. "Could you possibly tell me how much longer my bag is going to tour America in your planes before you finally get board with this game and deliver it to my hotel?"
"It will be back here tonight," she said, " about midnight. Everyone here in baggage has been told to look out for your bag. We will send it priority courier up to you so it is there when you wake up in the morning."
"Great, that would be wonderful." I hung up the phone. I decided to make another trip to Wally's and buy another outfit. I had a lack of trust and didn't want this to effect the business I was in town for.

I called the desk at 5:30am and to my amazement my luggage had finally arrived. I now had my winter coat that I was in serious need of. Wally's was only stocking spring attire and a light windbreaker and a sweater wasn't doing it for me.

When I go home, I plan on asking the clerks at flight check in to verify my bag code. I also plan on asking for all the mileage my bag racked up to be added to my account. I might as well get something out of all the chaos.

Which Way Did It Go?

Today I flew across the country to the opposite coast. I haven't flown in a number of years so it was almost a new experience. I think the security screening needs a little work as well as the baggage handling.

I got my boarding pass before the crack of dawn and carried my luggage to the new fangled bag imaging screening center. They took my bag and put it in its own waiting line. It had it tags and TSA locks and was ready for the ordeal. I then marched off to find my screening area.

The human screening area had more cattle fence then the stockyard. Since it was so early I could see across the entire expanse of maze like corridors. I quickly did the maze and got my instructions as I approached the machines.

"Take off your shoes and coat and place them in a bin. Take everything out of your pockets and place them in bin. Laptops need to be removed from their bag and placed in a bin by themselves. PDA's, cell phones and other electronic devises can be placed in a bin together. Please place your carry on bag in its own bin."

As I took off my shoes and coat and was unloading my pockets an older lady behind me said to her husband, "It would be easier if we came to the airport naked and got dressed here!"

I now had five bins to keep track of and the walk of fame through the detector tunnel. I made it without a bell and quickly went over to the machine to start collecting my bins. I couldn't imagine what this would be like during the peak of the day. Just about everyone I saw had three to five bins. It is amazing more stuff doesn't get lost in the shuffle.

While I was loading back up, a woman's bag was stopped and opened because she had a half a tube of toothpaste. They couldn't let that get past them. The tube read six ounces and they can only allow four ounce tubes. The lady protested that it is over half empty but rules are rules.

Boarding the plane was as crazy as I remember it. They board from the front to the back so everyone can be in your way as they try to stow their bags, slowing the line down to a crawl. Actually, it was slower because I was passed by a toddler in a rush with a parent attempting hot pursuit. It isn't easy dodging through bumper to bumper people with multiple bags hanging off your body to catch your child.

Up and down the first flight went great. Oh, did I mention the newlyweds I was seated next to. I changed seats before we hit the air.

My second flight started much like the first but I was hoping it would be great as well. I was in a packed plane sitting on the aisle next to a mother and her five year old. Behind me was a mother and her infant. My hopes were fading fast. As soon as the plane moved the five year old had to use the bathroom and would have climbed over the seats to gt there.

Five bathroom trips for the child and no food I landed at my destination. I turned on my cell phone and immediately got a call. I was informed that my bag was in Texas. The lady in Texas assured me she would put it on the next flight to me. I quickly wrote down all the various confirmation and tracking numbers as well as phone number and name around the edge of my boarding pass. I was about to visit the tomb of lost luggage. I had better news then most, I knew where my bag was. How did it get there when I didn't go to Texas? I filled out all the paperwork and passed it to the clerk. She was buried in luggage. The lobby was full. The counter area was full. She offered to show me the back room. She was quite skeptical that I actually knew where mine was when so many didn't. She said she would have it sent to me at my hotel.

If you want to know how it all turns out, leave me a comment or two and I will tell you "The Rest Of The Story".

Special thanks to my loving wife and family who are going it alone while I am gone. I miss you all very much.